Monday, June 26, 2006

Local Hero Calms Woes, Unconcoius Girl 'Probably Okay'

DENVER, CO - Patrons of a neighborhood bar in the Wyman district were relieved last night when a fallen drunk girl's presumed comrade assured onlookers that she was in fact 'probably okay'. The Tuesday-night regulars were taken a little off-guard when the women first fell to the floor exposing her underpants to the crowd.

The women, 26 year-old Angela Walker was purportedly incoherent and sleeping in a pool of her own vomit around 8 pm. Known in the neighborhood for her excessive drinking and frequent drunken outbursts, patrons and staff of the establishment were at first relieved when the women fell, silencing her allegedly crude commentary.

BJ, the manager of Wymans said solemnly, 'At first I just thought she was going to crawl home again. Once she didnt get back up, I got a little worried.'

A tourist family reportedly asked patrons about the womens condition one their way to the door. Leaving moments before the closest party obligatorily replied, 'Sure'.

'But, I really didn't think she was okay. I kept saying to everyone; someone should do something! That was right before my fries came.' said Sanjay Pardeep, a slightly concerned regular to the tavern.

Sanjay wasnt alone in his concern. Many bystanders were overheard questioning their friends on her condition.

'I just wanted someone to check her pulse. I can go on serving if I just knew for sure she wasnt dead.' muttered long-time waitress Tabitha Reynolds.

Local hero and resident Andrea Couch, mistaken for an acquaintance of Angela reported the women as being okay before sternly denying the allegations of friendship. She told reporters that she had seen the girl enter the bar earlier and noted, that she and her friend were 'clearly trashed'

'In fact,' she added, 'I wasnt surprised at all. I have seen girls like her do this kind of thing all the time -- I'm a student at DU.'

Andrea Couch, trained in CPR had evaluated the young Angelas condition from her bar-side seat and promptly announced that she was 'probably okay.'

Clearly proud of herself for calming everyones concerns she re-declared with a half-smile to the still-seated, recently relieved audience, 'Yes, she is definitely more than likely okay.' - AP

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